Plan Your Dating Campaign

The Essential
Relationship Workbook

Luck is not a plan. Would you count on winning the lottery as a viable financial plan, with a likely outcome? Probably not. Finding the person of your dreams is no different. People do get lucky at times, and in truth I believe that once you are focused on your goal and have moved into action, forces in the universe begin to lineup in your favor; however, to rely upon fate or luck in love is disempowering. I have heard people referred to as lucky, but after further review, it usually turns out that the person had done a lot of work to position themselves where luck could find them.

So let’s talk about what a plan is. It is a carefully thought through roadmap that aims to steer you towards a specific destination. It calls out how to prepare, how to proceed, how to determine if you are making progress, and even provides ideas to modify your tactics when something isn’t working.

There is a huge amount of research regarding the factors that generally result in success; planning is one of the biggies.

Statistically speaking, people who have a plan, and follow it, are more successful in life.

There was a study conducted at Yale University that followed a freshman class through their careers to determine who was successful from a financial perspective. They surveyed the freshman and asked who actually had a written plan for their career. Only 3 percent had a written plan.

Revisiting that population 20 years later, they discovered that those 3 percent had acquired more wealth than the other 97 percent combined. I raise this point not to bore you with scholastic research, but to bring your attention to how important planning can be.

To hit the point home, the planning 3 percent enjoyed more financial success that the other 97 percent combined. That is staggering! What is the difference between the groups?


The person who makes a success of living is the one who sees his goal steadily and aims for it unswervingly. Cecil B. De Mille

So, I ask you this... Will you chose to do the sometimes-rigorous work I recommend in my book, or will you simply hope your life will change on its own?

That is an important question, as it is your opportunity to begin pursuing your relationship dreams in a thoughtful way.

The aforementioned question is a choice point that can change the trajectory of your path. Which path will you follow—the passive, whatever happens path or the path of someone who is willing to roll up their sleeves and do the work?

The strategy I recommend is to look at the following list and prioritize the topics in terms of which are most important to you.

  • • Increase your self-awareness
  • • Increase awareness of others
  • • Present yourself in the best light
  • • Increase your networking skills
  • • Openly discuss your private needs
  • • Bounce back from disappointment
  • • Share relationship expectations
  • • Handle conflict
  • • Increase confidence

While I do deal with all of this information in my book, what really matters to me is not whether or not you use my writing to help you reach your goal. What matters is that you identify your top priorities, make a plan to do work on them, and find the right resources to help you get there. Books, videos, counseling, peer groups, getting more help from friends, anything you need to do to construct the people and other resources that will support you as you travel the journey to true love.